Podcast #41 - Larry The Loser

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Larry The Loser

Larry Smith was the laughing stock of the whole village. When he was at school, all the other students thought he was a loser. After school, nothing changed. Larry got a job at the post office and all his colleagues thought he was a loser as well.

Larry was in between a rock and a hard place. He knew one option was to move to a new town, but if he moved he would lose his job. Instead, Larry decided to try his hand at being a part time police officer. He thought that being a police officer would win him respect in the village. Unfortunately, things went from bad to worse.

One afternoon, Larry spotted a group of teenagers smoking at the bus stop. He decided to tell them off.

“Why aren’t you in school?”

The teenagers stared at Larry. After a few moments they were in hysterics.

“Look at this loser,” said the biggest teenager. “He thinks he’s a police officer.”

The teenagers started throwing their beer cans at Larry, and calling him a loser. Larry ran away. He was still the biggest loser in the village.

Further examples:

• I’m the laughing stock of this company, nobody takes me seriously!

• I’m in between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want to go to Meg’s party tonight, but if I stay at home I’ll have to talk to Ben all evening and he’s so boring!

• Why don’t you try your hand at cross-fit? I think you’ll really like it.

• I thought losing my job was my only problem, but things have really gone from bad to worse. My girlfriend decided to take a new job in another country!

• Did you spot any good discounts at the supermarket? I don’t have a lot of money.

• My Mum always tells me off when I don’t clean my bedroom.

• I was in hysterics watching that comedy, it’s so good.

Podcast #39 - Doug The DJ

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Doug The DJ

Doug was a DJ and his speciality was house music. One weekend, Doug was asked to play at a man’s 80th birthday party. The man was an eccentric billionaire, who offered Doug a boat load of cash.

There was one problem though. The man insisted on classical music, nothing else.

Doug knew he couldn’t turn down so much money. He decided to speak to his friend.

“I don’t know what to do,” said Doug. “I’m a House DJ. I don’t want to sell my soul and play classical music for this old man.”

“Don’t be a moron Doug,” said his friend. “Just do your job and take the money.”

But Doug didn’t listen. He turned up, and started playing the loudest house music possible. After only 30 seconds, Doug was attacked by a group of old men with walking sticks. They beat him black and blue.

Doug managed to escape and find a hospital. But he never played at an old man’s birthday party again.

Further examples:

• I love cooking Indian food, but my speciality is Italian. I can make amazing pasta!

• Who is that eccentric looking man over there? Why is he wearing purple trousers and an orange jacket?

• They offered Michaela a boat-load of cash to join their company. She’d be a moron to turn down that offer.

• Maybe Michaela doesn’t want to sell her soul yet…. don’t you know they use cheap labour to manufacture all their clothes?

• I can’t believe Jason turned up at our party and tried to kiss my wife! When I see him next, I’m going to beat him black and blue!

Useful English Vocabulary For Conversations

Imagine this situation. You are studying English abroad (i.e. London or Brighton). You finish school, and you want to go out to a bar and have a chin-wag with some of the local people.

chin-wag = casual conversation

Let’s look at three questions you might be asked, and how you can respond using a few ESL phrasal verbs and idioms!

1. “What are you doing in England?”

Response: “Well, I’m trying to brush up on my English so I’m doing a course at an English school here.”

brush up on (phrasal verb) = improve an existing skill in a short period of time

2. “ARE you ENJOYING YOUR language school?”

Response: “I love it, but it cost me an arm and a leg….”

cost an arm and a leg (idiom) = very expensive

3. “Where do you COME FROM?”

Response 1 (city): “I come from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, in Japan.”

Response 2 (countryside): “I live in a boring little village but we have a very tight-knit community!”

hustle and bustle (idiom) = an expression to describe busy city areas such as New York, London, Paris

tight-knit (idiom) = an expression used to describe a group or community with strong / caring relationships.

Learn English vocabulary with Mr Vocab’s story books

Did you find this post useful? Why not try some of our vocabulary books designed for ESL students:

Mr Vocab’s Phrasal Verb Stories (PDF version) (Amazon book)

Mr Vocab’s Naked Idioms (PDF version) (Amazon book)

Podcast #33 Marvin's Midlife Crisis

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Marvin’s Mid-Life Crisis

Marvin and his wife had been married for 20 years. However, they started to experience problems after his wife hired a very hunky personal trainer. As soon as Marvin saw the personal trainer, he knew his days were numbered.

Sure enough, his wife asked for a divorce one month later. The divorce was amicable, mainly because Marvin didn’t have any backbone. After the divorce was finalised, Marvin decided to buy a Ferrari and a leather jacket.

His friend Dave was not very supportive.

“Come on Marvin,” said Dave. “A Ferrari? A leather jacket? Don’t you think this is a bit Dad at the disco?”

Marvin knew his friend was right, but instead of listening to him he decided to double down. The following day, Marvin decided to buy a baseball cap and a pair of skinny jeans.

“You’ve lost the plot Marvin,” said his friend Dave. “I’m embarrassed to be seen with you.”

Suddenly a group of younger women walked past, and one of them did a double take at Marvin.

“Wow,” said the girl. “You’re obviously over the hill, but you refuse to accept it. I like your confidence. Here’s my number, call me some time.”

The girl walked away, and Dave was dumbfounded.

“Marvin,” said Dave. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you.”

Further examples:

• Wow, look at that hunky lifeguard! I should come to the beach more often.

• I think my days are numbered here…. my boss has been ignoring me all week.

• I broke up with my girlfriend but it was amicable. We still have a lot of respect for each other.

• You’ve got to show some backbone man! Girls like confidence!

• Have you finalised the contract yet? The boss wants to know.

• You’re far too old to go to the nightclub! You don’t want to be the Dad at the disco!

• I confronted John about the stolen money, but instead of denying it he doubled down and accused me of stealing it! Unbelievable…

• You’ve really lost the plot if you think I’m going to talk to my ex-wife. She’s evil!

• When I saw the dog riding a bicycle I had to do a double take! I couldn’t believe my eyes!

• Don’t you think you’re a bit over the hill to play a game of Rugby? Those young guys will kill you!

• I was completely dumbfounded when I saw Henry kissing our boss at the work party!

Podcast #32 Frankie Goes To Brighton

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Frankie Goes To Brighton

Frankie and his best friend Sally lived and worked in London. One weekend, they decided to visit Brighton. On the train, Sally tried to educate Frankie about the difference between London and Brighton.

“Listen Frankie,” she said. “I don’t want you to start being all judgemental when we get there. You have to remember that the pace of life is very different in Brighton.”

“Is that a polite way of telling me they’re a bunch of dossers?” replied Frankie

“You are such a snob,” said Sally. “You’ve never left London, it’s time for you to broaden your horizons and see how other places work.”

Frankie laughed. “Work? That’s a funny word to associate with Brighton, I thought everyone just bummed around and got drunk.”

Sally ignored Frankie for the rest of the journey. When they arrived, Frankie took a deep breath of the fresh air coming up from the sea.

“Well I must admit, it’s nice to be out of the hustle and bustle for an afternoon. Come on, let’s go to the beach.”

“Wait,” said Sally. “We can’t go that way, there’s a man with blue hair vomiting in the road. And we can’t take that street, it’s blocked by that group yoga class.”

Frankie and Sally decided to take a taxi. Five minutes later, the taxi was stuck in a huge traffic jam. Hundreds of angry protestors were shouting and waving signs in the middle of the road.

“Oh no, another vegan protest,” said the taxi driver. “Where do you want me to go, I can’t get to the beach.”

“I’ll give you a grand to take us back to the big smoke,” said Frankie. “This has been wonderful Sally, but this place is bonkers.”

Further examples:

• I wish I wasn’t so judgemental, it’s my worst character flaw!

• I want to move to Sicily, they enjoy a much slower pace of life and the scenery is stunning.

• James is such a dosser, why doesn’t he just get a job?

• Brenda is a real snob, she only eats at the most expensive restaurants and she refuses to talk to anyone who didn’t go to a private school.

• I think travelling is the best way to broaden your horizons. You can learn so much from meeting people and learning a new culture. Sadly, some people just want to bum around when they travel, they only want to get drunk and party.

• I was sick of the hustle and bustle of New York so I moved to Texas to enjoy a slower pace of life.

• Can you believe this traffic jam? We’ll be here all evening at this rate!

• Tom is completely bonkers. He paid a grand for a pair of jeans yesterday because someone told him they were really fashionable!

• We enjoyed our holiday, but returning to The Big Smoke wasn’t so bad. We’ve always loved London.