Podcast #39 - Doug The DJ

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Doug The DJ

Doug was a DJ and his speciality was house music. One weekend, Doug was asked to play at a man’s 80th birthday party. The man was an eccentric billionaire, who offered Doug a boat load of cash.

There was one problem though. The man insisted on classical music, nothing else.

Doug knew he couldn’t turn down so much money. He decided to speak to his friend.

“I don’t know what to do,” said Doug. “I’m a House DJ. I don’t want to sell my soul and play classical music for this old man.”

“Don’t be a moron Doug,” said his friend. “Just do your job and take the money.”

But Doug didn’t listen. He turned up, and started playing the loudest house music possible. After only 30 seconds, Doug was attacked by a group of old men with walking sticks. They beat him black and blue.

Doug managed to escape and find a hospital. But he never played at an old man’s birthday party again.

Further examples:

• I love cooking Indian food, but my speciality is Italian. I can make amazing pasta!

• Who is that eccentric looking man over there? Why is he wearing purple trousers and an orange jacket?

• They offered Michaela a boat-load of cash to join their company. She’d be a moron to turn down that offer.

• Maybe Michaela doesn’t want to sell her soul yet…. don’t you know they use cheap labour to manufacture all their clothes?

• I can’t believe Jason turned up at our party and tried to kiss my wife! When I see him next, I’m going to beat him black and blue!

Useful English Vocabulary For Conversations

Imagine this situation. You are studying English abroad (i.e. London or Brighton). You finish school, and you want to go out to a bar and have a chin-wag with some of the local people.

chin-wag = casual conversation

Let’s look at three questions you might be asked, and how you can respond using a few ESL phrasal verbs and idioms!

1. “What are you doing in England?”

Response: “Well, I’m trying to brush up on my English so I’m doing a course at an English school here.”

brush up on (phrasal verb) = improve an existing skill in a short period of time

2. “ARE you ENJOYING YOUR language school?”

Response: “I love it, but it cost me an arm and a leg….”

cost an arm and a leg (idiom) = very expensive

3. “Where do you COME FROM?”

Response 1 (city): “I come from the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, in Japan.”

Response 2 (countryside): “I live in a boring little village but we have a very tight-knit community!”

hustle and bustle (idiom) = an expression to describe busy city areas such as New York, London, Paris

tight-knit (idiom) = an expression used to describe a group or community with strong / caring relationships.

Learn English vocabulary with Mr Vocab’s story books

Did you find this post useful? Why not try some of our vocabulary books designed for ESL students:

Mr Vocab’s Phrasal Verb Stories (PDF version) (Amazon book)

Mr Vocab’s Naked Idioms (PDF version) (Amazon book)

Podcast #7 - Cook The Books

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Cook The Books

Once upon a time, there was a company called Computer Town. Computer Town offered laptop repairs, and it had a stellar reputation. What nobody realised was that something fishy was going on. 

The owner of the company, Mr. Honest, had been cooking the books for years. Mr Honest wanted to hide the bleak reality of his financial situation, so he cooked the books in order to sell his business for an astronomical price.

In the end, the long arm of the law caught up with Mr. Honest. He was put behind bars, his reputation in tatters.

Further examples:

• Marie is the most reliable real estate agent in California. She has a stellar reputation.

• I think the security guard realised something fishy was going on, and he called the police.

• I can’t believe Frankie was cooking the books all this time! He seemed so diligent and respectable.

• You need to accept the bleak reality of your relationship with John. Have you considered divorce?

• Manchester United paid an astronomical amount of money when they bought Paul Pogba.

• Watch out, it’s the long arm of the law!

• Frankie is behind bars now. They caught him cooking the books.

• He used to be highly respected, but after all those stories in the newspaper his reputation is in tatters.

Jamie's Giant Bum

Are you interested in brushing up on your English phrasal verbs? Great, because we have a very short story for you, which includes ESL phrasal verbs in bold.

Jamie’s Giant Bum

Jamie worked out every day. Weights, yoga, karate… anything that involved intense physical activity. But despite being muscular, Jamie had a big, fat bottom. Luckily, he did not know this, because he could not see his bum.

His friends did not bring it up. Why mention it if Jamie was happy? One day, while Jamie was looking for jobs online, he came across an advert. 

MALE MODELS WANTED. MUST BE MUSCULAR AND HANDSOME. £100 PER DAY.

It was perfect. Jamie knew he was muscular and handsome. He called the number and arranged an interview.

The following day, Jamie looked up the address for the studio and ordered a taxi. When he turned up, the photographer looked at him and laughed.

“You can’t be a model, look at your gigantic ass!”

Jamie felt humiliated. Why did nobody tell him about his oversized posterior? The photographer stopped laughing and looked at Jamie with sympathy.

“Look, I’m sorry you didn’t know about your big bottom. I’ll make you an offer. If you stay here and let us laugh at your huge bum, I’ll pay you the same rate. £100 a day.”

Jamie agreed immediately. For £100 a day, he could easily put up with being humiliated.

THE END

If you enjoyed that story then check out our YouTube video ‘3 English Phrasal Verbs To Sound Like A Native Speaker’