Podcast #42 - Giulia's Valentine's Day Nightmare

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Giulia’s Valentine’s Day Nightmare

Giulia had always dreamed of finding her knight in shining armour. Unfortunately, all the men in her village either strutted around like they owned the place, or they skulked around with their shoulders slumped.

All Giulia wanted was a confident man, who had some ambition and wanted to settle down in the near future. That weekend she came across a handsome man called Charles at the local market. When Giulia saw him, Charles was buying a variety of cheeses. 

“I love cheese,” said Giulia. “My name’s Giulia, by the way.”

“Hi Giulia, I’m Charles. I love cheese too,” replied Charles. “I also enjoy fine wine and European city breaks.”

Giulia could not believe her luck. This man was perfect. She decided to be proactive.

“I don’t want to be presumptuous, but perhaps you’d like to have Valentine’s Day dinner with me tomorrow night?”

Charles looked at Giulia and smiled. He really was beautiful, Giulia thought.

“That sounds wonderfully romantic, I would love to. I need to check with my Mother.”

“Excuse me?” said Giulia

“My mother. I still live with her so I just need to tell her I’m going out.”

Further examples:

• Thanks for helping me Sid, you’re my knight in shining armour!

• Look at him, strutting around. He thinks he’s so great, I hate him!

• That new IT guy is so weird. He’s always skulking around the kitchen, he’s creepy!

• Don’t slump your shoulders, sit up straight and try looking like you deserve to be a manager!

• I’m not ready to settle down, I still love partying and dating.

• I’m not so keen on long distance travel, I prefer simple city breaks.

• If you want a job, you need to be proactive. It’s no good waiting for someone to call you.

• I don’t want to be presumptuous but I notice you’ve been admiring me from across the room. Can I buy you a drink?

Podcast #41 - Larry The Loser

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Larry The Loser

Larry Smith was the laughing stock of the whole village. When he was at school, all the other students thought he was a loser. After school, nothing changed. Larry got a job at the post office and all his colleagues thought he was a loser as well.

Larry was in between a rock and a hard place. He knew one option was to move to a new town, but if he moved he would lose his job. Instead, Larry decided to try his hand at being a part time police officer. He thought that being a police officer would win him respect in the village. Unfortunately, things went from bad to worse.

One afternoon, Larry spotted a group of teenagers smoking at the bus stop. He decided to tell them off.

“Why aren’t you in school?”

The teenagers stared at Larry. After a few moments they were in hysterics.

“Look at this loser,” said the biggest teenager. “He thinks he’s a police officer.”

The teenagers started throwing their beer cans at Larry, and calling him a loser. Larry ran away. He was still the biggest loser in the village.

Further examples:

• I’m the laughing stock of this company, nobody takes me seriously!

• I’m in between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want to go to Meg’s party tonight, but if I stay at home I’ll have to talk to Ben all evening and he’s so boring!

• Why don’t you try your hand at cross-fit? I think you’ll really like it.

• I thought losing my job was my only problem, but things have really gone from bad to worse. My girlfriend decided to take a new job in another country!

• Did you spot any good discounts at the supermarket? I don’t have a lot of money.

• My Mum always tells me off when I don’t clean my bedroom.

• I was in hysterics watching that comedy, it’s so good.

Podcast #40 - Donald's Dream Machine

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Donald’s Dream Machine

Donald was a genius. He could build anything. Some of his best inventions included a robot who could make pizza and a sofa that could turn into a car.

But Donald’s newest invention was truly groundbreaking. It was a real game changer. He had created a machine that could control your dreams. One day, Donald explained it to his wife, Mary.

“It’s easy, just type in the dream you want to have,and press enter. Then you put the helmet on when you go to bed, and Bob’s your uncle!”

Donald’s wife looked perplexed.

“Why do you need a dream machine Donald? I thought I was the woman of your dreams.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” replied Doanld. “This gizmo is going to make us loaded. Imagine how many people will buy it.”

Later that night, Mary woke up. Donald wasn’t in bed, so she went downstairs to look for him. She found Donald already using the dream machine. Mary checked the monitor to see what dream Donald had entered. On the screen it said:

“Tropical beach, surrounded by gorgeous women.”

Mary found the keyboard and typed a new sentence into Donald’s dream. She wrote:

‘The gorgeous women suddenly turn into petrifying man-eating spiders.’

Mary pressed enter, and Donald started screaming like a little girl.

Further examples:

• Their new album is good, but it’s not groundbreaking.

• Wow, this new foldable phone from Samsung is a real game-changer!

• It’s easy to use, just turn on the switch, wait 30 seconds and Bob’s your uncle!

• You look very perplexed, do you want me to explain it again?

• What is that new gizmo you’ve got? It looks very futuristic!

• You should ask Nicky for money, she’s absolutely loaded.

• I could never go bungee-jumping, even the thought of it is petrifying!

• The actor who plays James Bond is gorgeous!

Podcast #39 - Doug The DJ

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Doug The DJ

Doug was a DJ and his speciality was house music. One weekend, Doug was asked to play at a man’s 80th birthday party. The man was an eccentric billionaire, who offered Doug a boat load of cash.

There was one problem though. The man insisted on classical music, nothing else.

Doug knew he couldn’t turn down so much money. He decided to speak to his friend.

“I don’t know what to do,” said Doug. “I’m a House DJ. I don’t want to sell my soul and play classical music for this old man.”

“Don’t be a moron Doug,” said his friend. “Just do your job and take the money.”

But Doug didn’t listen. He turned up, and started playing the loudest house music possible. After only 30 seconds, Doug was attacked by a group of old men with walking sticks. They beat him black and blue.

Doug managed to escape and find a hospital. But he never played at an old man’s birthday party again.

Further examples:

• I love cooking Indian food, but my speciality is Italian. I can make amazing pasta!

• Who is that eccentric looking man over there? Why is he wearing purple trousers and an orange jacket?

• They offered Michaela a boat-load of cash to join their company. She’d be a moron to turn down that offer.

• Maybe Michaela doesn’t want to sell her soul yet…. don’t you know they use cheap labour to manufacture all their clothes?

• I can’t believe Jason turned up at our party and tried to kiss my wife! When I see him next, I’m going to beat him black and blue!

Podcast #38 - Karate Ken

The Mr Vocab Podcast is available on Amazon Android, Google Play and iTunes App Store.

Karate Ken

Karate Ken was a karate enthusiast from Southern California. He took up karate at the age of ten. Karate Ken’s best friend was Netflix Nick. Nick’s main passion was watching Netflix. One day, Nick asked Ken a question.

“Why do you waste your time practicing karate?” 

“Karate is a great form of exercise,” answered Ken. “You really work up a sweat in only a few minutes. It’s also beneficial for my mental health.”

“Well, Netflix is beneficial for my mental health as well,” replied Nick. “I watch comedies, which make me laugh and as a result, I feel good. I also work up a sweat when I walk downstairs to get a diet coke from the fridge.”

“But what if you get attacked in the street,” said Ken. “You won’t know how to defend yourself.”

Nick thought about it for a few moments.

“I’ll never get attacked in the street, because I never leave my house. I’m always watching Netflix.”

Further examples:

• Oliver’s a real film enthusiast, you should invite him to the cinema this weekend.

• I really want to take up a musical instrument but I can’t decide between the violin or piano.

• You should try the rowing machine tomorrow, I promise you’ll work up a sweat in no time at all!

• Studying a foreign language is very beneficial for your memory. It’s important to use your brain as you get older.